Ethan is turning 1!

Fully Forgiven

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 NKJV

Being a scapegoat is not a job most people would volunteer for. After all, it implies taking the blame for what others have done. But in the Old Testament, God offered forgiveness to his people in exactly this way. The priest would lay his hands on the head of a goat and symbolically transfer onto the scapegoat the blame for the sins the people had committed. The priest then sent the animal into the wilderness to take the people’s offenses far away. Once the scapegoat removed the people’s sins, God in his holiness could once again draw near to the people he loved.

In the New Testament, a different kind of scapegoat appeared- Jesus Christ. As God’s Son, he willingly chose to bear the offenses of the whole world, to take the blame for everything the people had done against God since the dawn of time and until the end of it.

The great hope and promise of the verse is that it tells you exactly what you need to do to allow Jesus to be your scapegoat, which opens the door to God’s forgiveness in your life. To confess simply means “to agree.” Take a few moments each day to agree with God about how well your thoughts, words, and actions have lined up with what he desires for your life. Move forward with confidence, fully forgiven and free from guilt.

Once God forgives you, all traces of your past offenses are gone. His forgiveness wipes away any feelings of guilt or blame.

11 months old!

My boy is growing up. Yesterday, I was crying on my way home just thinking about my baby being 1 year old in 1 more month. So much has happened this year. Looking back atall the experiences I went through seems forever, but just looking back at how much Ethan has grown seems like just yesterday we were bringing him home from the hospital. Amazing what God does in our lives sometimes. The feeling of being lost and not knowing what will be next for us to feeling a sense of accomplishment. Not only from the big transformation that Ethan went through, but just that Chris and I did it. We raised a healthy boy and he really is ok.

It has only been two weeks today that Ethan had his lip repaired. And though it was indeed a big struggle for me emotionally and a big change for Ethan….I still find myself looking at people and waiting for them to stare. I don’t get that anymore. Even though I pretended like I never cared what people said or how they looked at him- it hurt. I don’t get that anymore. Its the best the feeling in the world that I don’t feel like I have to explain myself to strangers. I do know that this will definitly be our testimony. We all were strong to confront the world. I passed. I seriously feel like I have truly humbled myself and I let God take care of it all.

There are still many surgeries to come and many therapies to go through, but God will get us through that too…..”this too, shall pass”.

Ethan is walking and boy is he a drool bug STILL. He has 4 teeth and one on the way out. He can point to his head, he knows where his eyes are, he will stick his tongue at you when you ask him to tell you where it’s at. He loves his curious george doll and he loves to eat. He will clap his hands and will make you laugh when he is getting into trouble. He gives BIG hugs and wet kisses. He loves being in the water. He is such an outgoing boy. We went to a party and he was doing “ojitos” to some old ladies across the room. He likes getting a reaction out of people.

So Ethan’s birthday is coming up and we decided to have his birthday party at the Houston Zoo. I am so excited, I know he will have lots of fun. I so cannot wait. I am also planning to get his hair cut done that day, but still unsure where to take him. There is this place called Cool Cuts 4 Kids (www.coolcuts4kids.com) looks like a cool place to go and then there is this other place in the Woodlands called Snip Its (www.snipits.com). This place looks even cooler, but it is kind of far. I wanted to do it the morning of his birthday….his hair is too long! I also want to get his pictures taken, but I am afraid it will be too much for one day. I was thinking of maybe getting his pictures done the next day or should I do it the day before his birthday. If I do it the day before his birthday, then he won’t have his haircut. I don’t know what I want yet. Or I can have his hair cut done the day before, go first thing Saturday morning to get his pictures taken and then go to the zoo after that. I don’t like to be rushed though. What to do?

Another thing that I am working on is his First Year Book. I am trying to get all his pictures together on snapfish.com and put them all in an album. This won’t be done soon because I want his professional pictures in there as well as his birthday pictures and haircut pictures too. Ethan’s pictures are taking up too much memory on our laptop and Chris wants to transfer them to another hard-drive. I don’t want him to do that until I am done with my book so I have something to look at.

I still am trying to decide what to buy Ethan for his birthday. I would like to buy him a slide that we can have inside or outside. I am holding off on his big swing set until we move- hopefully that will be his 2nd birthday present. The slide is a bit pricey- I was thinking that I can buy him clothes, shoes, books, and smaller toys instead. I don’t know yet. I want to buy him bigger toys so he can be more active with them than have smaller toys that will require him to sit down to play with them. The only problem with bigger toys is that you need MORE room. He soon will be kicking us out of our den.

That is it for now. I know I haven’t kept up with this blog, but hopefully I’ll get better at it…..darn Facebook.

Ethan is walking…sort of

Yesterday we went out to eat for dinner and decided to stop by my parents so they can see Ethan. They want to see him during the week, but they get home so late from work and Ethan sleeps early. So it was about 7:30PM and Ethan was wide awake. My parents were playing with him and letting him wonder around. Ethan started going up the stairs and was not scared to come down face first. I have never dropped Ethan and he has never fallen off anything so he doesn’t know what it feels like to fall. He has hit himself by bumping his head on things, but never fallen off of anything. So my dad was getting tired of keeping up with him and I went to get Ethan. I was sitting on one couch and my dad was sitting on the recliner across from me. Ethan really wanted to go with him. I stood him up so my dad could reach for his arms, but my dad never got him and I let go…….. and Ethan was WALKING all by himself. He never fell because he was able to walk all the way to my dad (about 4 steps). Of course I made a big deal about it. I brought him to me and he did it AGAIN. I screamed for my mom and he didn’t want to do it anymore. I kept practicing until he did it again. The problem is that he wants to run instead of walk and so he is not balancing himself enough to run. I have a very anxious boy- I think he gets that from me. I am at work anxiously waiting for it to be 2PM so I can go see my boy.  I can’t wait to see if Girlie (the nanny) has been practicing with him.

New Changes

As many of you know, I have decided to come back to work. I love working and I feel that my life has re-energized again. It is funny what works does to you. My son is being looked after by a nanny, whom I am so grateful for. She is wonderful with Ethan and Ethan really likes her. Now that I am working, I do spend less time with my son. I am sad by that, but me working is the best thing I can do for my family. With the way the economy is, I want to be sure that I save money for Ethan forthe future. I don’t want him to have student loans like Chris and I do. I want to be able to provide as much as I can for him. Chris and I are his parents and as such he is our responsibility to care for and provide for him. Being that I am back at work there are changes that will be taking place in the near future. Chris and I are planning to move to a more practical house in a better area. We would like to have more family, but in order for us to do that we have to plan for it. As much as I would have liked to have another baby right away, I want Ethan to get these last two surgeries out of the way and see what we have to look forward from there and then we can think of baby #2.  In the meantime, we are saving more money now than ever before to make these preparations. I am very proud of ourselves for everything that we have accomplished. We have faced some hardships and we know we can get through them especially with God’s help. 

Ethan is growing up so fast and I thank God for giving me 9 months to be away from work to watch my baby grow. He is crawling so much and he’ll stand by himself unassisted. Ethan imitates noises that we make. He is such a smart boy. He loves reading with daddy and he loves to turn the pages. He eats a lot. Maybe a little too much. He eats anything, even spicy food. He has such a sweet attitude. Lately he has been extra sweet. He gives BIG hugs and wet kisses. He knows how to shake your hand and give you high five. He will blow kisses to you too, but we are still perfecting that. He says “ahhhhh” a lot, but with a tender voice. He’ll do that when he wants something.

Ethan’s next surgery is on July 16. This surgery he will have his lip and nose repaired. I am so excited to finally see what my son will look like. Also Ethan’s birthday is coming up too. I am  super excited about this. I have never planned a birthday party before. Chris and I don’t really have parties to celebrate our own. I like to be low key and just have dinner with my family. Anyway, so I have big plans, but still debating on the size of the party. I already know what I am buying Ethan for his birthday, I need to go ahead and order it already so I can be sure it gets here on time.

Long over due pictures of my precious boy

Ethan’s buddy Austin came to visit at the hospital.

Grandma Nereida bought Ethan goodies for Easter.

Grandma Raquel bought Ethan a swing.

Ethan and mommy.

Tia Nelly trying to take a cute picture with her nephew, but Ethan wants to be goofy.

Ethan relaxing with Grandma Raquel.

Ethan being a big boy feeding himself now. YES!!!

Electricity madness!

We have had a pretty rough experience with this house. The previous owner was an electrician and he did some pretty weird wiring that would never pass inspection had we gotten one before buying this house. We knew this house had some issues but my parents thought it was a good buy and they offered to help me fix them. So I bought this house five and a half years ago. I knew that the electricity was somewhat “wack”, but I didn’t know to what extent until the lights kept going out last week which caused the wiring to loosen up. It was so bad that our stove was controlling the outside lights and the refrigerator. The electrician came out and estimated about $700 in repairs. He said that whom ever installed the box they didn’t put the required amount of amps on each fuse. He said that getting a new box of fuses would save us money on our electric bill. Geez, I’ve heard this before. I replaced the roof, I re insulated the attic, I got new air ducts, and even got a digital thermostat and I still have not saved a dime. I was even considering in replacing all the windows.  The electrician was supposed to come early Sunday morning, but ended up showing up around 3PM. Everything is back to normal here and he only ended up charging us $500. We’ll see if our light bill is somewhat lower this next month. We average about $275/month- so we’ll see.

Pancake Recipe

I have been looking all over for a great pancake recipe. I have finally found one. Usually the recipes I get I have to adjust the amount of milk I put in because the batter is too thick and they don’t cook all the way through. Other recipes call for baking soda and it tastes terrible. Some recipes the pancake are too flat. This one is perfect. They are fluffy.

1 1/2 cups flour

3 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon salt

1 tablespoon sugar

1 1/4 cups milk

1 egg

3 tablespoons butter (melted)

1/2 cup chocolate chips (optional)

Combine all the ingredients together in a bowl, beat until creamy. Pour a ladle of batter on a medium to low, lightly greased griddle. 

Enjoy!

You Raise Me Up

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

There is no life – no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

 

It’s been almost a week after Ethan’s surgery. Let me just say it has been a very long week. Ethan is doing so good. He gave us a little scare when the nurse told us that after the surgery he stopped breathing for a little bit. The recovery time has been hard. We have had sleepless nights and crazy days. The medicine is making Ethan very hyper….a little too hyper. His mouth has been bleeding some and has scared us a few times with the amount of blood. I have broken down a couple times from the frustration because sometimes I feel like I can’t take another day of this, but I always bounce back. I am having to feed Ethan with a syringe and having to put arm restraints on him. The syringe feedings are somewhat frustrating and it is also a two man job when you have a hyper boy like Ethan. As for the arm restraints, I try to not have them on him, but I literally have to keep a close eye on him. Today I was about to get on facebook and catch up, but I first I decided to play some music off of my itunes list and this is the first song that I heard. I was moved to tears because sometimes I forget on how God really does “raise  me up to more than I can be”. I quickly remembered on a quick prayer I said today at 4am after getting up every half hour to check on Ethan to get me through this. I was quickly loosing my patience. I realized after hearing this song, that I was not tiresome today. I had a great day today. I took Ethan to his doctor’s appointment. I had lunch with a friend. I went shopping with another friend. I saw my sister today and my best friend came over. It was a long day, but all in all it was a good day. I wasn’t tired. Ethan behaved and I even had Starbucks. Thank you Lord for giving me strength today.

Reminiscing

Its 1 AM despite what the time on this blog says it is. I am not sure what the deal is on this. I can’t sleep. I am trying to sleep and I start thinking of Ethan. I start to think of the day he was born and everything I went through. All the emotions I felt were coming back like if it were yesterday. I was mad at God, but at the same time I was thanking Him for my beautiful baby. Why was I going through this? I was not going to let the devil rain on my parade, I gave all the Glory to God. I started to think of how anxious and desperate I was to want him home soon. Night after night I slept without my baby at my side longing for him to wake me up to feed him. I hated leaving the hospital without him, that was the worst time of my life. I felt depressed, I felt like God was toying with me. Him allowing me to have so much love for Ethan and yet not letting me be with him. I would come home to his toys untouched, to an empty crib, to a silenced sound on the other end of the monitor. I hated that feeling. Then the day we brought him home I was barking at Chris because he couldn’t be too careful while driving us home along with other Houstonians trying to evacuate because hurricane Ike was to hit soon. Finally, we are home safe. I was so excited to have him in my arms all to myself. No nurses around to prick his feet for blood samples or undress him in the cold hospital. He was all mine until the hurricane hit and we had to live with my parents for a month, but it was okay my baby was at my side. Then we have all the orthodontist visits week after week for the next seven months. Reality was just around the corner. We would go out in public just to have people stare and point at my son. What a heartbreak. I hated that. That had to have been the hardest part for me. He is just a baby, but I prayed for strength and wisdom to deal with people like that. I was stronger than that and whoever talked about my baby, God was going to be in control. I acted like if nothing bothered me. I took criticism from those people. I took it even if it meant that I would go home and cry it out. Amidst all this, Ethan smiled through it all. My baby’s smile…..oh how much I adore him. Everything is so much better when I look at him and see him smile so big. And now his surgery is on Tuesday and all the stares will go to a minimum and all the orthodontist visits will dwindle to once a year, but that beautiful smile….what will happen to it? It is hitting me so hard like a ton of bricks. I am scared….I was so ready for this day from the moment I found out he was going to be born with the cleft lip and palate. I was so ready for God to heal him and now, now I am scared that I will have to adjust to a new smile.

Dear God, please help me through this. I need you now more than ever. Thank you for Ethan- for all the lessons that you have taught me through him. You have made me a much better person now and I would not trade this experience for the world. I ask dear Lord that you watch over him during his surgery on Tuesday and that you place your hand over Dr. Stall as well. That this surgery will go smoothly. I also ask for a speedy and not so painful recovery. Please instill patience on my behalf to care for Ethan during his recovery period. In Your name I pray, Amen.